The two-part HBO documentary, Pee-Wee as Himself (directed by Matt Wolf) hit me hard. It was, in many respects, delightful; but to revisit the unfair attacks on Paul Reubens, due to one ill-judged moment and a subsequent witch hunt, was a painful experience.

The Paul Reubens interviewed by Wolf (a great job by Wolf on this) was the Paul I knew – a pleasant, quietly witty soul who could be frank and guarded, all at once. He’s very funny in the doc, but Wolf wisely included Paul struggling with how deep to dive into himself. He dove pretty damn deep, actually.

The one thing that struck me most was how Paul and Pee-Wee had, on some level – again, a deep level – merged into one for these final trips in front of the camera. The playful Paul, and the private one, seemed to struggle with each other throughout – but the very sweetly funny man he was prevailed.

He made some enemies in his time here on earth. He was driven and that drive at times left people behind. I’ve spoken to several Groundlings (the Second City-style comedy troupe of which Paul was a part in L.A. at the start of Pee-Wee) who resented his success. You don’t reach the heights of show business without a certain coldness – asked about this in the doc, Paul shrugs and says, “It is show business.”

It’s tough to have the kind of large ego that leads to success without alienating some of those you meet along the way. I can only say that Paul’s generous, sweet nature that I encountered reminds me we were all lucky to know Pee-Wee Herman.

This is what I wrote about Paul and Pee-Wee before Christmas 2013. I’ve reprinted this before, but it seemed appropriate – even necessary – to share it again.

After this blog entry of mine appeared, I heard from Paul, as follows:

I was obviously thrilled by this re-communication, and on occasion would hear from him via e-mail, though we never spoke on the phone or in person again. Those Christmas cards kept coming. That’s stopped now, of course.

The last time I heard from Paul was when he thanked me for writing a tribute (here at the Update) about his friend and collaborator John Paragon, Jambi on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and in the original HBO The Pee-Wee Herman Show. John had just passed away and Paul liked what I had to say about the man who’d perhaps been his most important collaborator. Here’s that tribute.

The important news this week is that I will be a Guest of Honor at the San Diego Comic-con.

I have attended many times, and of course I performed with my bandmates in Seduction of the Innocent on numerous occasions at the con. I have only attended once since my 2016 heart surgery; the con that time around was an experience that was hard enough to have me staying home after that, reluctantly. That was 2018.

So this return visit is going to be somewhat physically tough, but I am delighted to be making this one-stop farewell tour. As it stands now, Andrew Sumner will be interviewing me about all my Titan/Hard Case Crime projects (over the last twenty years!) and Robert Meyer Burnett will interview me about Nate Heller (among other things) with an emphasis on True Noir: The Assassination of Mayor Anton Cermak.

When I say “farewell tour,” don’t panic (I’m not). I generally feel fine, but a-fib has its travails. Nonetheless, please know I will be writing novels and screenplays until they carry me out in a body bag. And they better zip it, or I’ll crawl the hell out.

We haven’t taken Death By Fruitcake out on the festival circuit, concentrating on getting it on a streamer(s). Right now there’s no DVD or Blu-ray scheduled, as that market has (except for some niche stuff) pretty much dried up.

But we did enter the Iowa Motion Picture Awards. We were nominated in five categories and won five awards. Barb and I did not attend the event, because we’d decided instead to be in Des Moines for an evening screening of Death By Fruitcake (as part of the festival). Two trips to Des Moines from Muscatine in four days was a little much. So our leading man, Rob Merritt, attended for us and picked up the hardware after.

We received awards in all five categories in which we’d been nominated – Director: Award of Excellence: Max Allan Collins; Award of Achievement Long-form Narrative: Death By Fruitcake; Actor: Award of Achievement: Rob Merritt; Actress: Award of Achievement: Paula Sands; and Supporting Actress: Award of Achievement: Alisabeth Von Presley.

We are obviously pleased.

And I will tip my cap to all of those mentioned above, and the rest of my cast and crew, who pulled off something special in a limited amount of time and budget. Particularly I will salute my buddy Chad Bishop, who shot the film, edited it and co-produced it.

At the suggestion of a potential distributer, we have added a subtitle to Death By Fruitcake. Now it’s DEATH BY FRUITCAKE: An Antiques Christmas Mystery. We think this was a good suggestion, because “Christmas” is a helpful thing as is tying the movie to its source, namely the Antiques series of cozy/crazy mysteries by Barb and me, writing as “Barbara Allan.” A novella of ours, Antiques Fruitcake, is the specific source.

I got a big kick out of being part of the 200th episode of Let’s Get PHYSICAL MEDIA on YouTube this past Sunday.

Most Sunday afternoons, new episodes of this fun show with Robert Meyer Burnett and Dieter Bastian will air with segments from me talking about film noir and crime/mystery movies in general, specifically titles that have recently appeared on physical media. I’ll also be talking about True Noir, which Rob Burnett directed and I wrote from my first Nathan Heller novel, True Detective. True Noir: The Assassination of Anton Cermak is available now at truenoir.co.

M.A.C.